Blog # 6 - Getting Back On

I am back, and with a punch, the punch is not mine but it is a big punch J - read the Words

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you, no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son, you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain't gonna have a life.” – Rocky to his Son, Rocky Balboa, 2006

Why this quote?                                                

ü  There are two reasons, reason number one is the quote above and reason number two is the one below

ü  “It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you” – Rachel Dawes to Bruce Wayne, Batman Begins, 2005

ü  We are what we do, nothing else.

ü  No matter how “put an adjective here” you think you are, if you don’t do it. You are not it.

ü  I made a promise to myself, and I am keeping it. That is me. I am back

What do I have to say?

ü  Not a lot, the quote sums it up so beautifully that any explanation would be trying to touch up something perfect, a futile effort.

ü  I am using it to tell you that I am back J more importantly to myself.

How does this help you?

ü  If you understand it and believe in it, I think this is the kind of stuff which will make you life a lot easier and importantly real

ü  It is not one of those “the world is beautiful”, “look at the bright side” or “It wasn’t your fault” approach. It ‘s very honest and straightforward appeal

ü  It is a father’s appeal to his son. A  father who is trying to pass on what he believes to be his core learning in his life to his only son

ü  It can help you all that optimism/excuse-making about life made you feel stupid and ignorant. You own the responsibility of your life, and only you get to decide who you give it to

When to use it?

ü  Like it says, when you know you what you are worth, then you go out and get what you are worth. You do this, Always

Don’t ask how do you I know if I am worth it. You have to know it inside you, and if you really are you will get what you are worth. Being is different from thinking, be what you are worth.

Hiatus... To Be Continued

I am now on my Summer Internship in Axis Bank, Mumbai.

Thus, not able to update the blog every sunday. I shall resume the same when I come back. Peace :)

Hiatus #1

I have my exams coming up so small break :P

Blog #5 - Uncommon Sense

Where is God?

-         In your head.

-         Whether God exists or not, you and I can’t really know.

-         If there was any concrete evidence for either of the sides. The side would have presented that evidence and it would be only common sense from there onwards.

-         But, I am not really discussing about existence of God. Only using this as an example.

 

What is Common Sense?

-         Common Sense refers to plain sound judgement.

-         The kind of sound judgement which does not require you to have any specialized knowledge

-         It comes intuitively to all intellectually capable humans. Being Human has certain perks J

 

What do I mean by uncommon sense then?

-         Uncommon sense by simple inverse requires you to have some thing uncommon. Something odd that is not common in the normal human intellect.

-         It is the kind of decision-making which helps you decide whether to believe in God or not

-         Most of our decisions are made by this uncommon sense; they are the ones that make us what we are.

-         We choose whether we have to believe in God or not, and in all such decisions where there is no absolute right or wrong.

 

How can I make the “right” decision?

-         As is pretty obvious by now, most things have no right solutions. But there are rational decisions. These are decisions which you make intending to get what you want.

-         There is no universal purpose; hence there can not be a universally right decision.

-         You thus are the one making the choices in your life.

-         Are you doing what is “right” for you?

 

Who am I?

-         Ask this question to yourself, Ask this to yourself to know what is it that you desire.

-         We are all humans. We are cowards one second because we chose to behave cowardly and yet we are the brave, for we have fought against things which we should have ran away from.

-         Your past behaviour is not who you are. You can choose to set a new course. There will be barriers. Quitting an addiction is tough. Leaving your comfort zone even tougher at times. But consciously you can set a new behaviour.

-         It is the time to take responsibility for who you are.

 

Where do I start?

-         It starts with a leap of faith. That is the uncommon sense. Uncommon sense is the faith you put in yourself.

-         When you choose to believe in God, you are taking a leap of faith. A faith in your judgement that he exists. At the opposite end, when you decide to shun that faith in God, you support a judgement of yours.

-         You already believe in your uncommon sense. It’s about time you took some responsibility for it and empowered it.

-         Your beliefs are a result of the choices you have made and their outcomes. The choices which were contextual. UNCOMMON.

-         Your behaviour is thus contextual. UNCOMMON.

-         Accept this.

 

Why do I need to accept this?

-         Your habits and behaviour are tools incorporated by nature in us as a tool to help you, to make you efficient in repeating the same acts again and again and becoming proficient in them. Remember what daddy always said, “Practise makes Perfect.”

-         But this Perfect is only contextual, it’s uncommon. What is perfect in most cases is the absolute most imperfect thing you can do in others.

-         You can thus become a slave to your habits. Doing imperfect things, but doing them perfectly.

-         Are you a slave to your habits?

-         Don’t be. Challenge your beliefs when they seem out of place, support them when they seem in place.

-         You have uncommon sense J.You can make better beliefs now. Being Human has more perks than you can imagine.

 

Why can’t I choose to be an Ignoramus?

-         For starters you can. You choose remember J

-         But you will never succeed. You can never really ignore everything. You will soon find paradoxes challenging your beliefs.

-         Ignorance is bliss but unfortunately it is as hard to attain as perfect knowledge.

-         I only advice you to think and then choose. The final choice is yours. Your Risk, Your Gain.

 

When should I use my Uncommon Sense?

-         Do I really need to answer this?

-         It’s UNCOMMON.

-         So are the times it is to be used. Don’t try to use it every now and then. There are common things you know :p and besides the human mind has it’s limitations.

-         “I” can not tell “You” when “Your” beliefs are out of line with what “You” intend.

-         Lucky for us, there is a system called feedback. Tells you when you did something wrong. Regrettably it only works after the action has been made, so you are already invested. But something is better than nothing. J

 

Hopefully, you will try something Uncommon soon. Believe in yourself; take the risks which are long due. Life is beautiful, but only if you choose to make it. J

Blog #4 - Children of Echo and Narcissus

What in an Echo?

-         An echo is an acoustic phenomenon wherein a reflection of the original sound reaches the listener some time after the original sound.

-         What I mean by an echo is a more important question though; I shall explain that a little later. Patience my child :P

Who was Echo?

-         Echo was a Nymph. A Nymph, not A Nympho ;)

-         Echo was in love with her voice, and was a real glib talker.

-         The story of Echo begins with Zeus (King of Greek gods, firangi Indra devta baba)

-         Zeus, even though he was a god loved to “come down” to earth for a little *wink, wink* *Men :P *.

-         People make gods; our gods are only an exaggerated image of ourselves. There were no Movie stars/ Rock stars/ Saas-Bahu serials at that time so this was like universal gossip J .

-         So, Zeus liked to “come down” to earth. But obviously Hera, his wife, didn’t like this. Would you like your partner sniffing around here and there? So she followed Zeus *pink panther theme song*

-         Echo, being a slick talker, tricked Hera into an engaging conversation, thus distracting her. There is a moral here, but it’s not the one I am writing about today. Let’s see if you can pick it up.

-         Hera on realizing this curtailed Echo’s power to repeating only the words of others

What do I mean by Echo?

-         Echoes are people. People who only repeat the words of others

-       They have nothing to say of their own, yet they love to talk. They just like to hear their voice and make it heard

-         There is a little Echo is every one of us... where we just want to agree & get along

-         Do you often hear things in your head which others have said and even end up saying them the exact same way? Hello….. ello.. llo.. You are an Echo buddy.

Who was Narcissus?

-         Narcissus was the son of a Nymph, Lyriope

-         He was an exceptionally beautiful boy. Movie star style.

-         Liriope was often worried about Narcissus, so she went to a prophet, Teiresias

-         He predicted that Narcissus would live to a ripe old age, as long as “he never knew himself”.

How was Narcissus related to Echo?

-         Now, we are talking

-         Well, Narcissus went hunting once, there Echo saw him, and immediately fell in love with him. She wanted to express her love to him but all she could do now was repeating the words of others

-         So, when Narcissus finally saw her, all she could do was to repeat what Narcissus had just said. Not a very good way to make someone fall in love with you. I would have been irritated too.

-         So, there she was in love in Narcissus, rejected because she had no words of her own. Tells you something doesn’t it?

Where did this story lead to then?

-      Yes, there is more. Well there are different versions actually on how the story goes on. There are always so many versions to everything in mythology. Gossip, I am telling you.

-         I am going to take the one which is slightly more apt here.

-         After this, Narcissus comes upon a calm stream, he bent down to drink some water and sees his reflection in water

-       The boy finally found himself. In his sixteenth year, the boy fell in love with himself. Mythology is just so beautiful.

-         So there was Echo pining for Narcissus’s love could now repeat the words he said to himself “I Love You”. But it was a bit too late.

-         And there was Narcissus, in love with himself

-         What happened to both of them, well I am more of a big happy Punjabi wedding ending kind of guy, so I will skip that. There is always Google though J

            

 Why am I Discussing this?

-         Hmm, well one reason is that there are so many Echoes & Narcissuses out there

-         Second, there is a bit of them in all of us and we need to realize that before the fate of Echo and Narcissus is repeated for us too.

-         I am not saying that appreciating the great things others have said or liking yourself is bad. But excess of everything is bad. So this is like a public disclaimer

When am I an Echo?

-         Well a clue, I dropped earlier, that you often end up repeating the words of others

-         You quote established authorities when their quotes are in favor of your argument, or just to show off.

-         You talk in clichés. Totally, awesome, dude J

-         There are times when these clichés aren’t bad, when they show to others that you speak the exact same language. You feel about things in a manner they do, your thinking pattern is like theirs

-         But be very beware of overdoing it, because then you are only an Echo. A mere repeater. You, like Echo will lose out on things which require real thought. You will think like millions others do, hence gullible to the men who know how you work

When am I a Narcissus?

-         Hmm, this is a bit tougher. See loving yourself isn’t bad, but being self-obsessed is. The thin line between the two, you will have to spot.

-         Do you think you are the best there is, was or ever will be? If the answer is yes, there is your clue buddy.

-         You do different things, just because you don’t want to be part of the crowd whether they do any good or not. You just like to do “your own thing”

-         You are the best and you love yourself, what is there not to love, you are absolutely perfect

-         And those who don’t, well what good are they, fools, they will realise one day how spectacular you are.

-         Hmm, we have a problem buddy, and I know you are the kind of person who will be very hard to convince on this too, because once you have made a decision, it’s final. You made it, after all. And accepting that this is a problem is a bit against your values.

-         Well, there is a price you pay for everything and you just better be prepared

Where does one end and other start?

-         I know, I know, by now many of you must be thinking that the two of these are exactly opposite. One is a person who only repeats what others say and other is a person who thinks for himself and thus does “his own thing”

-         Well, they aren’t actually, often you will find the same person having both of these in them and Boy, are they common!

-         They do their own thing which a million other people are already doing. They don’t want to get their hands dirty doing little things. That is for other mortals. They are the best, thus only the best will do for them.

-         The best though is the one that everyone else has proclaimed to be the best. For therein lies the Echo.

-         Echo might not have been able to make Narcissus fall in love with him, but there are millions out there, may even billions, who seem like a result of the consummation of the love of the two.

What is my advice to people around them?

-         None, Don’t try to do anything

-         And please do not try to change them. They can’t be changed by you. People only change for the people they love and they only love themselves. They are the only ones who can change themselves. You can if you are smart enough, show them that changing will be good for them

-         Another reason why you shouldn’t do anything is because you never know; you never know when one of them evolves into a god. The one that makes the path to a better future or builds a better world for all of us.

Never underestimate the power of Ego, don’t try to control it for it will only unleash itself with full vengeance, sooner or later. If possible, deflect it to something positive. Loads of hungry kids to be fed out there, Loads of dark lives to be enlightened.

Blog #3 - The Hypocrites & The Ridiculous

What is an Ad Hominem?

-         Ad Hominems are a general category of fallacious arguments which repudiate a claim by attacking the person presenting the claim. “He is an idiot; hence everything he says is idiotic”. It’s basically a convenient overgeneralization.

-         The quality of claim is independent of the man presenting them, thus the actions, circumstances or character of person  should not be a concern while assessing an argument

 

How can I believe a person if he himself doesn’t believe what he says?

-         The fact that a person is a hypocrite doesn’t prove that his claims are false.

-         It might also have happened that they now make a claim which is inconsistent or even contradictory to their earlier claims (change of heart). In such a case only one of the claims can be true. But, this is not an excuse for rejecting both of them or simply choosing the one which is convenient to you.

 

Why do people behave inconsistently with their logic?

-         Well, for one they might just be hypocrites :P 

-         But, mostly it’s because we humans are emotion rationalizers. We do things which give us emotional payoffs (either short term or long term) and then we rationalise that through a web of beliefs. Often, we are in situations wherein a behaviour expected from others is opposite of the ones we would like to pursue ourselves. Hence, the hypocrisy, it not really intentional.

-         It’s not a bad thing, it’s only human. No matter how rational we claim ourselves to be, we are emotional beings.

-         If you can transcend it, have a great life living alone J

 

Why do we abhor it and still keep on doing it?

-         Well for one, we are social; none of us is able to fulfil all our needs. A lot of our needs especially the emotional ones can only be fulfilled by other humans when they behave in a manner that gives us pleasure, but their expectations might be different. This “hypocrisy” is a way we lubricate our relationships with others.

-         The system is self-reinforcing, because as we make public our beliefs, we are expected to behave in consistency with them. Our behaviour is always watched and if any of our acts is against what is expected of us. We are asked to be consistent our beliefs or be labelled a Hypocrite, because it is really really bad to be a hypocrite. :P.

-         Often, you will see bawlers; these people you will often see shouting and reiterating their belief system and at least in social settings, trying to act quite consistent to it. You see a lot people turning into bawlers after getting drunk. “I *hic* am the kind of *hic* person….” Get the drill?

 

Who is a rebel?

-         Aah, the rebel. Well rebels are a type of bawlers. On the whole not a very cool one either. Rebels are people to whom the system hasn’t been very kind

-         Not that it is the system’s fault. They are often quite ignorant of the implicit workings of the system and thus land up committing gaffes, which others take advantage of. Resolved to take revenge. They bawl, they bawl against the system. They create a contradictory set of beliefs only to be trapped in the same system again.

-         The same cycle starts all over again. Ever wondered how once Rock was the rebel’s music, and all of the sudden there a rebel against the rebel, Punk rock. There was bawler music Metal and when that bawl wasn’t loud enough there was Death Metal.

-         This goes way beyond music, Just used the example because art is a mirror of what is happening in the society

 

When is this wrong?

-         Absolutely critical question. This is wrong when a few people begin to use system for personal gains. Being in situations of power, they get to mould the situations in their favour.

-         If a claim is made that is not convenient to them, they shoot it down with ridicule. Ridicule is one of the most effective ways of annihilating logic. And we all think, “well gee it leads to such absurd results, how can it be true?” “Damn, I can’t even control my laughter; you just say anything don’t you?”

-         Open your mind to the ridiculous. Yes, there will be people out there who you can ignore. People whom it’s not worth wasting your time on. But they might just be saying the right thing. The thing that can change your life

-         Are you willing to let a little ego let that great chance go by?

 

Where do I start?

-         Now, this is the tough part. You will have to be willing to listen.

-         I know, I know, Listening can be a pain in the @$. Why bother listening to somebody else when you can hear yourself listen and other people can listen to you. You are the genius after all.  ;)

-         Listening is the best skill you can develop, because not only will you find that other people can think from different perspectives, they might also have thought of things you forgot.

-         Besides, it can be great source of power. I know, when others listen to you, you feel all smart and stuff, but listen if you want that feeling to be real and sustainable.

Blog #2 - Emosanal Atyachar ;)

What is Dev D?

-              A very smart movie. It is a contemporized version of Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay’s novel Devdas

-        While S C Chattopadhyay’s novel was a critique of the social customs prevalent in Bengal at that time, how they led to a man’s lengthened suicide (a man who had it all by those days measures.), the movie is a commentary on the current misogynistic stereotypes in northern India.

-         It highlights these almost in a dark satire by the use of Emosanal Atyachar and Duniya. But if you dig a little deeper you find an unwinding setup of paradoxes fuelled by addictions.

 

Who are the main characters?

-         Dev – A confused selfish Child whose only motivation is to seek temporary relief from whatever is bothering. Growing up as a kid who had it all, he is used to scratching his itches as soon as they arise. He has no long-term vision and is thus chided and worse punished by society for not conforming to the rules set out. His only responses are withdrawal and when confronted with the truth a rebel attitude to hide his insecurities. It is only when he accepts the system, that the system is willing to give him another chance but not without penance.

-         Paro - The scheming lover or the ambitious girl, Paro is one of the gifted Indian girls who have so well understood how the system works but feel trapped by their station in it. They try to maximize their payoffs from the system by keeping everyone happy and even ignoring Dev's antiques when conflict would've been appropriate. It is only when she sees that her investments are failing because of rumor that questions her "purity" that she gets frustrated but she still keeps all her anger in, only to unleash it at her ex-lover when he is at his weakest. This obviously hurts her a lot too.

-         Chanda/Lenee – The playful child who didn't understand the rules and got punished for getting caught. Jesus showed that we are all sinners. We all have private lives that we keep hidden in closets, hers got exposed and she was shamed by society for setting an example. So beware that while you are having fun with "friends". Their incompetence or disregard for your privacy might haunt you for a while. The world seems to be all rosy at the moment but there are a lot of jealous greens that are only too happy to see you fall. 

-         Sattu – Sattu was Dev’s dad and one of the reasons that he became what he was. A lack on his part to instill a reverence to the social rules and then feeling guilty for the same, he tried to buy his way out of penance by giving whatever his son asked for.

-         Chunni - The Pimp, the man who cashes on Dev’s addiction and Chanda's misery. 

 

What is Emosanal Atyachar?

-         Aah, Emosanal Atyachar is one of the ways the movie shows the paradoxes created due to addictions

-         It is a constant denial of one's own responsibility and blaming others for one's own misery and then asking the world for sympathy as one is the victim of the cruelties of others.

-         It is an addiction to a lover, who makes you feel something when life feels empty and meaningless, even if in the most negative of ways. The world has become more and more impersonal and thus histrionics are one way many of us get emotional satisfaction. That is what you get when a generation grows up on Television and Movies that exaggerate reality rather than real human connections. The dysfunctional child wants either that perfect home, that perfect scheme of events, or a complete opposite of it. Just so that life becomes easier, just so that we know exactly how to feel.

-         Making decisions about life is a lot easier when things are black (jalwa) and white (Pyar). Grey takes too much cognition. And since white is too hard to achieve. Give me Black. Give me Emosanal Atyachar. Tragedy, Tragedy ;)

-         The question here is “Are you addicted to Emosanal Atyachar?”

 

What are Addictions?

-         Addictions are things that you have a strong craving for, they often make you dependent on them as they are either psychologically or physically habit-forming. They are often viewed as negative, but they aren’t always.

-         We all are addicted to one thing or another. While alcohol, smoking, and food are some of the commonly known ones. Love, Sports (Physical exertion), Sex, Hardwork, and many others are often ignored. Discipline and Obedience are examples of addictions that are often seen as positive.

-         Too much of anything is bad, the same is the case here. Addictions give you a great psychological or physical reward when you repeat them. There are points when they can begin to control you. So Beware

 

How Do I know whether I am addicted?

-         The question is not whether you are addicted. It should be what am I addicted to?

-         We all have addictions, you need to find out what you are addicted to. It is quite simple too. It is a simple act of finding patterns. What are the things you spend a lot of time in? We invest in things where we expect the highest gains and since these are the things you are doing a lot, You must obviously gain a lot from it.

-         This can be done on a simple daily basis, a weekly or a monthly basis. Choose different periods and you will get different levels of addictions.

-         You might even see a pattern in life where you repeat the same things over and over. History Does not repeat itself, We make it repeat because we are addicted to certain things. History rhymes in the melody of histrionics. 

 

Why do you need to know your addictions?

-         Well for one, if you find paradoxes in your life.

-         We have been trained to work hard and attain our goals. But how many of us do? It is because many of us are so addicted to the patterns that when we are right next to our goals; we are so dazed and confused as to what to do that we simply keep following our natural addiction vs. what needs to be done! And then we're surprised at the Icarian fall we experience... I was so close!! Tragedy! Tragedy! 

-         Addictions are like programs that can stand between you and success. Inculcate an addiction of challenging your addictions to see if you can achieve what you always thought was your true potential

 

When do I know my addictions are the ones causing Emosanal Atyachar?

-         Well for one, even I don’t know the answer. One plausible sign could be that you are living patterns, especially paradoxical patterns where your motivations and goals are quite antagonistic. Try to find out what you're doing that is counterproductive.

 

Where do I start?

-         Aah, well finding the addiction obviously is the first step. And don’t be too keen to jump to conclusions. It might not necessarily be as negative as you take it to be. It is one of the reasons you are who you are. So be ready to see the positive as well as the negative outcomes it brings to you. Be sure that if it is a long-lasting addition, it gives you a lot of sense of security. Thus weaning away would be tough.

What is the key takeaway from Dev D?

-         Dev loves Paro but fucks up due to his insecurity & hypocrisy (He is now addicted to any stimulation from her even if feels like emosanal atyachar). To wean away from her he moves to alcohol. But it is only when he replaces these negative addictions with a positive one (Chanda) that his life begins to make sense.

-         You might be too keen to give up or lean on such negative additions because there are Pimps (Chunni) out there, who seem to want to help you out but are merely cashing in on your negative addictions, beware!! 

-         All narcissistic Men really need a Chanda (that impure caretaker) who helps them come to terms with the impurities, but they are so addicted to their regret of losing the pure Paros that they can’t see that. :) ... once they do, they know can begin healing 

Hope this helps you find your Chanda and mine too ;)

Blog #1

What is this?

-This is a blog where i will try to answer 6 types of questions on random issues. 

What gives me the authority to write this blog?

-Nothing tangible :P

-Freedom of speech and Internet :) *Hail*

Why am I doing this?

-I am becoming rather bored.

-I am trying to test my knowledge.

-Maybe it will be help some people out there looking for answers.

Why should you refer me an issue?

-You are looking for answers to it.

-Just for the sake of it.

When will I make my posts?

-Every sunday.

Where does it go after this?

-I don't know :P

Who am I?

- Pramath Malik :)

- Mail me at pramathmalik@gmail.com for more information.

How can you refer me an issue you would like to be answered?

-Mail me the issue at pramathmalik@gmail.com and wait :)

-Ask specific questions if you want.

Woo. Blog #1 wasn't as tough as I expected. Let's see if I can keep this up.